I keep a private blog for my three girls where I write letters to each of them occasionally. Its where I write them each a letter on their birthday each year. It's where I keep track of all the milestones with Sophie and recount all her cute little words, behaviors and personality traits. It's where I share my heart with them.
Tonight I decided to post this on my public blog though. They will still read it and know it was for them, but maybe it will also give you a laugh, encourage you to make a list of your own for your children to read one day, and help us discover what lessons we want our kids to learn the most (with some humor added in).
So here you go, my girls...20 life lessons I want you to remember.
1. Your Mother is always right. Seriously. Always. And if I'm wrong, I'll tell you before you've realized it yourself.
2. Please, Please, Please...go through your life in this order. Graduate high school, graduate college, figure out your career and live on your own or with a friend for a while, date the right guys, choose the "one," get married and have your babies. I promise you...it's the best way. You have your own choices to make and I'm sure you will think that following your heart trumps my logical timeline...but trust me. This path is just the best path. If things go differently though and you end up making choices you regret that take you off this path...I will still always be here for you. I may be disappointed, but my love is your constant. And if I get mad or yell at you for a while...just know it's for your own good and it will end with me hugging you. And remember Lesson #1 listed above. Always. Right.
3. There are two types of people in this world, girls. People that use their garbage disposal and people who throw every single piece of food in the garbage. I'm sorry to say your dad is the latter. Listen to your Mother on this one. Use your garbage disposal. Love your garbage disposal. Shove that food down there and trust it actually knows how to do it's job. If Dad sees you do this in your own home and starts to give you a lecture, refer him to Lesson #1.
4. Don't go plucking too many of your eye brows out. Some of those suckers don't grow back! The tweezers are your friend but just don't go crazy. You really don't want to be one of those people who look like they took a Sharpie to their face and have lines above their eyes. But I will let you know if your uni-brow is out of control. If you see me coming at you with my tweezers, just sit down and let me do my thing. Because....what? Oh yes...I'm always right.
5. I know it's tempting to get married in your early 20's, especially if you met the best guy ever while you were in college. Or even high school. I know this one may not stand up to reality, but if at ALL possible...please wait until you are at least 25 to get married. You will know yourself better. You will have some life experience out of a school setting under your belt. You will possibly have met enough men and dated a few, to know what you are really looking for. What Mr. Perfect looks like to you on paper may not be even close to who you fall in love with. Please try and balance the qualities you have on your "list" with the feelings of falling in love. You can't rely on either of those alone. Logic in a list or emotions ruling your choices. Find the balance. And if you aren't sure and are getting serious with someone... I'm truly the best person to ask! I know you better then anyone and I only, only want the best for you. Who you choose to marry will be one of the biggest, most important decisions of your life and I hope my input means at least a little something to you.
6. Pray. Talk to God. Make it a habit. And I'm not just talking about when you have a decision to make or some kind of problem comes up that you need God's help with. I mean, daily. For no reason. Thank Him, praise Him, share with Him. Tell Him the desires of your heart and follow what He desires for your heart.
7. You come from parents who love food and aren't those stick-figure, I-can-eat-anything-I-want-and-never-gain-weight kind of people. I'm sorry this is reality for the three of you, but it is. Remember it's about finding the balance and using moderation. Eat the slice of cake, but not the whole cake. Go get a scoop of ice cream...don't eat the whole carton because you had a day day. Eat more veggies and meat then pasta and potato chips. Exercise. Take care of your body because it's the only one you're going to get. Maybe you won't be like me and this won't be a lifelong struggle for you. I will be so relieved for you! But if it is hard, just keep trying. I know you can do it. And I'm here to encourage you any way I can.
8. Mario Brothers and Nintendo were what me and your Dad grew up on. You girls love Mario too. Keep Mario alive. Pass him onto your children. Play some video games. Keep the tradition going to the next generation. By the way, now I have the Mario theme song in my head...don't you?
9. I know already that at least one of you carries on the hoarder gene and it truly drives me nuts. Don't be a hoarder. I do not want to see you and your piles of crap on a reality show one day. Don't be that crazy person.
10. Try your very best to never get divorced. This is important girls. Do whatever you can. If your husband has an affair, be mad, feel the hurt and possibly cause him bodily harm. But try and forgive him and try and see if you can work it out. I understand if you can't. But at least give it a try. If he physically hurts you, get out as fast as you can and come to me or your dad. Don't be embarrassed or ashamed or confused on this issue. Tell us. Tell someone. Get away from him permanently and understand that me or your Dad has every right to go pay a visit to him that probably won't end well. But other then those two issues...stay married. Keep working at it. Don't give up. Fight for your marriage. The choice to stay married to the same man your entire life, till death do you part, will be one of the biggest and hardest choices of your life. But it will be the most valuable. Don't be like your mother. Learn from my mistakes and make the right choices. It makes me smile now to think you will be looking to me and your Dad as the example of what a real marriage looks like. A marriage that lasts.
11. Keep playing the piano. Even if it's just for fun, as often as you can...keep playing. You will be so happy you did and I worked my butt off teaching you that skill so you better not lose it!
12. Travel. Go places I haven't seen. Enrich your life. Travel with your girlfriends, travel with your husband. When you're a parent, take your babies and experience life. Don't hold yourself back by fear or intimidation of the unknown. Plan trips, save your money, and take lots of pictures to show me when you get back.
13. I don't know what kind of technology will be the "it" way to communicate when you read this, but that doesn't really matter. Pick up the phone and call people you care about. Talk to them. Make time to have coffee, go shopping or out for a meal. See people in person. Talk to people in a way you can actually hear their voice. Texting, email and social media are great, but it's not a replacement.
14. Don't be afraid to drink alcohol when it's legal and when you're in a safe environment. But be afraid of drinking too much. Not having control of your actions or your decision making abilities is about as scary as it gets. Don't learn this lesson the hard way.
15. Stay close as sisters. Your sisters know you better then anyone besides your Dad and I. Despite your differences or where life takes you, please stay close. Love each other. Respect each other. Lean on each other. Always look out for each other.
16. Pick a career you truly enjoy. If you are like me and have always just wanted to be a Mommy, still pick a career path. Even if you only work a few years and then have the privilege of staying home with your kids...it will still have been worth it. The experience you will gain is so valuable and it gives you something to fall back on when your kids are raised or if you need to help provide for your family. It's another one of those important decisions. Choose your career wisely.
17. Make sure your husband-to-be has these three qualities - He loves Jesus, he makes you laugh, and he wants to take care of you.
18. Treasure your girlfriends. The ones you make in high school...the friends you share life with in college...the women you work with - make time to go out with them and really value those women. When you fall in love, don't put him so far above your friends that they don't feel important. Keep your girlfriends and always make time for them.
19. I may always be right and I am your Mother, but I am also human. Remember this when you think back on the times I may have yelled at you. On the times I may have lost my patience. The times when I was unfair or didn't make the best decision. Forgive me. Know that I always tried my best. Know that I always loved you more then anything or anyone. Realize that I still do, no matter what you're doing, where you are or how old you may be. I'm not perfect and you won't be a perfect mother either. Take pride in the fact we can talk anything out. Take advantage of how we can share anything with each other. We will always forgive each other and our bond will never be broken.
20. Be better...be more...then me. Love more. Forgive easier. Make wiser choices. Be strong. Have confidence in the wonderful, amazing woman that you are. And if you learn some positives from me...don't be afraid to show your emotions. Be an open book to those that love you. Communicate. Laugh. Love hard. And hopefully you have the kind of relationship with me when you read this, as I do with my mom. I love you girls. I love you so much.
~KDM
2/20/2015
Friday, February 20, 2015
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Can I Change My Life in 30 Days?
I have tried a lot of diets in my day. I mean, a lot! I've counted my points on Weight Watchers. I've taken handfuls of pills on programs like HerbalLife or Advocare. I've drank SlimFast for breakfast. I've tried meal-replacement shakes, Garcinia Cambogia, and various detox home remedies. I feel like I've been looking for "the" diet plan that holds the secrets to weight loss for the past 10 years of my life.
A few of those plans actually do work. I had success with Weight Watchers in my twenties. I currently use a few Advocare products and believe in them as a company. And I know, like we all realize, that healthy eating and regular exercise are the main keys to maintaining a healthy weight. Most of the time.
What I am finding now in my mid-thirties is that losing weight has become more difficult then ever. I nursed my youngest for nearly 23 months and I was so excited when I finally got my body "back" to be able to eat what I wanted or try something new to lose the weight I needed to. But in the past two months I have actually gained weight, despite eating better and working out more. It has been very frustrating, to say the least. I know some of this could be attributed to hormones and my body adjusting after being pregnant and nursing for almost two years. But still...I feel like I don't know my own body anymore.
All of this has lead me to the decision that I need a fresh start. A renewal or reset, if you will. I want to reset my body to the point where I can figure out what works for it and doesn't anymore. What foods make me feel good and look good and what foods do the opposite. I also want to see how my body feels without the toxins, sugars and garbage I feed into it whether I realize I do or not. I want to see how I am supposed to feel.
After some research and reading, I have decided to try the "Whole30" program. Their claim is "let us change your life" and I have read countless stories and testimonies about how this program has done just that. It has changed peoples' lives. To be honest, I could use some change. I want to change these habits, addictions and patterns I've spent the last 10 years creating that have done nothing but hurt my health. Whether it be portion control, night time snacking, my sweet tooth, or my tendency at emotional eating - it ALL needs to change.
What I'm taking away from my research on "Whole30" so far, is that not only is this a physical challenge, but it's also a mental and emotional one as well. Probably more so then physical! I am going to have to use a lot of self-control. I am going to have to show self-restraint. I am going to have to commit. Completely commit! There is no cheating on this plan. I am going to go through a variety of mental, emotional and physical reactions as my body isn't fed what it has become used to and resets itself.
I've read many people say the first week is the hardest. Some claim to be straight up mean the first 7 days. My poor family...can we all make it through this alive!? Well we are sure going to see. We are going to see how I feel, think, sleep, act, and look after 30 days of no sugar, grains, dairy, alcohol, peanuts or soy. I also have to deprive myself of legumes. Legumes! I'm not sure how I will manage that one, but I will give it my best shot! Ha.
Thankfully my husband has agreed to do this with me starting in a few weeks. This program encourages you to take time and read a book that really teaches you about food and how it affects you in all aspects, good and bad. They want you to take the time to plan for this and take it seriously. So that is what we are going to do. Read, plan, organize and prepare for what I hope is a life-changing experience.
My biggest fears with starting this are 1) how to do it with 3 children and 2) if I am really capable. Of course I think this will be good for my kids. I'm sure it will introduce them to more vegetables and will set a good example to them of real healthy eating. But I'm not going to make my kids never have a treat for 30 days. My kids eat pretty healthy already...healthier then myself, so I already feel pretty good about that. But I still have room for improvement so this will help me with that. It will help me be more creative in my meal planning and I hope they see a Mama who feels, thinks, sleeps and looks healthier at the end of all of this. But it will be hard to completely cut out grains with my kids. They love side dishes...like most children do. Sure they eat their meat and veggies, but that side of organic mac and cheese, potatoes with butter, cheese or gravy or some form of rice would be really hard for them. So that is a decision I still have to make...whether or not I continue to cook for them like normal and Adam and I have our "Whole30" meals (which I know is more work) or if we all do this together.
The other fear I mentioned, if I am really capable of doing this....that is my biggest fear if I'm honest. Food and I have a long-standing, unhealthy relationship. My issues with no self-control and little self-restraint show themselves the most in my eating. And I have a husband with the same problem. We aren't much of a support to each other in this area. But you know...I feel like I'm up for the challenge. I want to prove myself wrong. I want to prove I CAN do this. It's 30 days! I can do this. We can do this together. I want to finally look back and say proudly, "I really did it. It was hard, but I stuck with it and look at these results."
Whole30 tells you to throw out your scale for the month. Weight loss is not the main focus here, but the overall health of your body, mind and spirit are what to look at. The exciting part is, not only have I heard people lose weight doing this, but they feel incredible. They sleep better. They think clearer. They have a ton more energy. Their skin is healthier. They lose inches, not just pounds. Their life feels completely changed.
After these 30 days, it's up to each of us to decide what to do from there. The hope is that you feel so great that you WANT to keep it going. That it comes more naturally and it's something you desire to do. It won't feel like a punishment. Or some add back each type of food group at a time to see what kind of negative reaction they see, if any. Or who knows...some probably get to day 31 and go find themselves the nearest McDonalds. I can't say for sure what I will do on day 31 but I sure hope I follow in the footsteps of the thousands of people that have genuinely changed from this program.
So here I go. As soon as my book arrives, I will begin the process of reading, planning and preparing for February 23rd. That is our "go" day. Pray for me...really. I will need it! And better yet...join me? Everything is more fun, less terrifying, and goes faster when you have friends and family to support you. We could do this together and whatever challenge you are facing either mentally, emotionally or physically..,maybe this could be the answer. There's no money to pay, memberships to join, pills to pop, shakes to blend or unknown, potentially dangerous side-effects. It's just clean eating and living for 30 days. Who knows...it could be the most important 30 days of our life.
Let's do it!
~KDM
2/4/2015
A few of those plans actually do work. I had success with Weight Watchers in my twenties. I currently use a few Advocare products and believe in them as a company. And I know, like we all realize, that healthy eating and regular exercise are the main keys to maintaining a healthy weight. Most of the time.
What I am finding now in my mid-thirties is that losing weight has become more difficult then ever. I nursed my youngest for nearly 23 months and I was so excited when I finally got my body "back" to be able to eat what I wanted or try something new to lose the weight I needed to. But in the past two months I have actually gained weight, despite eating better and working out more. It has been very frustrating, to say the least. I know some of this could be attributed to hormones and my body adjusting after being pregnant and nursing for almost two years. But still...I feel like I don't know my own body anymore.
All of this has lead me to the decision that I need a fresh start. A renewal or reset, if you will. I want to reset my body to the point where I can figure out what works for it and doesn't anymore. What foods make me feel good and look good and what foods do the opposite. I also want to see how my body feels without the toxins, sugars and garbage I feed into it whether I realize I do or not. I want to see how I am supposed to feel.
After some research and reading, I have decided to try the "Whole30" program. Their claim is "let us change your life" and I have read countless stories and testimonies about how this program has done just that. It has changed peoples' lives. To be honest, I could use some change. I want to change these habits, addictions and patterns I've spent the last 10 years creating that have done nothing but hurt my health. Whether it be portion control, night time snacking, my sweet tooth, or my tendency at emotional eating - it ALL needs to change.
What I'm taking away from my research on "Whole30" so far, is that not only is this a physical challenge, but it's also a mental and emotional one as well. Probably more so then physical! I am going to have to use a lot of self-control. I am going to have to show self-restraint. I am going to have to commit. Completely commit! There is no cheating on this plan. I am going to go through a variety of mental, emotional and physical reactions as my body isn't fed what it has become used to and resets itself.
I've read many people say the first week is the hardest. Some claim to be straight up mean the first 7 days. My poor family...can we all make it through this alive!? Well we are sure going to see. We are going to see how I feel, think, sleep, act, and look after 30 days of no sugar, grains, dairy, alcohol, peanuts or soy. I also have to deprive myself of legumes. Legumes! I'm not sure how I will manage that one, but I will give it my best shot! Ha.
Thankfully my husband has agreed to do this with me starting in a few weeks. This program encourages you to take time and read a book that really teaches you about food and how it affects you in all aspects, good and bad. They want you to take the time to plan for this and take it seriously. So that is what we are going to do. Read, plan, organize and prepare for what I hope is a life-changing experience.
My biggest fears with starting this are 1) how to do it with 3 children and 2) if I am really capable. Of course I think this will be good for my kids. I'm sure it will introduce them to more vegetables and will set a good example to them of real healthy eating. But I'm not going to make my kids never have a treat for 30 days. My kids eat pretty healthy already...healthier then myself, so I already feel pretty good about that. But I still have room for improvement so this will help me with that. It will help me be more creative in my meal planning and I hope they see a Mama who feels, thinks, sleeps and looks healthier at the end of all of this. But it will be hard to completely cut out grains with my kids. They love side dishes...like most children do. Sure they eat their meat and veggies, but that side of organic mac and cheese, potatoes with butter, cheese or gravy or some form of rice would be really hard for them. So that is a decision I still have to make...whether or not I continue to cook for them like normal and Adam and I have our "Whole30" meals (which I know is more work) or if we all do this together.
The other fear I mentioned, if I am really capable of doing this....that is my biggest fear if I'm honest. Food and I have a long-standing, unhealthy relationship. My issues with no self-control and little self-restraint show themselves the most in my eating. And I have a husband with the same problem. We aren't much of a support to each other in this area. But you know...I feel like I'm up for the challenge. I want to prove myself wrong. I want to prove I CAN do this. It's 30 days! I can do this. We can do this together. I want to finally look back and say proudly, "I really did it. It was hard, but I stuck with it and look at these results."
Whole30 tells you to throw out your scale for the month. Weight loss is not the main focus here, but the overall health of your body, mind and spirit are what to look at. The exciting part is, not only have I heard people lose weight doing this, but they feel incredible. They sleep better. They think clearer. They have a ton more energy. Their skin is healthier. They lose inches, not just pounds. Their life feels completely changed.
After these 30 days, it's up to each of us to decide what to do from there. The hope is that you feel so great that you WANT to keep it going. That it comes more naturally and it's something you desire to do. It won't feel like a punishment. Or some add back each type of food group at a time to see what kind of negative reaction they see, if any. Or who knows...some probably get to day 31 and go find themselves the nearest McDonalds. I can't say for sure what I will do on day 31 but I sure hope I follow in the footsteps of the thousands of people that have genuinely changed from this program.
So here I go. As soon as my book arrives, I will begin the process of reading, planning and preparing for February 23rd. That is our "go" day. Pray for me...really. I will need it! And better yet...join me? Everything is more fun, less terrifying, and goes faster when you have friends and family to support you. We could do this together and whatever challenge you are facing either mentally, emotionally or physically..,maybe this could be the answer. There's no money to pay, memberships to join, pills to pop, shakes to blend or unknown, potentially dangerous side-effects. It's just clean eating and living for 30 days. Who knows...it could be the most important 30 days of our life.
Let's do it!
~KDM
2/4/2015
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)