I keep a private blog for my three girls where I write letters to each of them occasionally. Its where I write them each a letter on their birthday each year. It's where I keep track of all the milestones with Sophie and recount all her cute little words, behaviors and personality traits. It's where I share my heart with them.
Tonight I decided to post this on my public blog though. They will still read it and know it was for them, but maybe it will also give you a laugh, encourage you to make a list of your own for your children to read one day, and help us discover what lessons we want our kids to learn the most (with some humor added in).
So here you go, my girls...20 life lessons I want you to remember.
1. Your Mother is always right. Seriously. Always. And if I'm wrong, I'll tell you before you've realized it yourself.
2. Please, Please, Please...go through your life in this order. Graduate high school, graduate college, figure out your career and live on your own or with a friend for a while, date the right guys, choose the "one," get married and have your babies. I promise you...it's the best way. You have your own choices to make and I'm sure you will think that following your heart trumps my logical timeline...but trust me. This path is just the best path. If things go differently though and you end up making choices you regret that take you off this path...I will still always be here for you. I may be disappointed, but my love is your constant. And if I get mad or yell at you for a while...just know it's for your own good and it will end with me hugging you. And remember Lesson #1 listed above. Always. Right.
3. There are two types of people in this world, girls. People that use their garbage disposal and people who throw every single piece of food in the garbage. I'm sorry to say your dad is the latter. Listen to your Mother on this one. Use your garbage disposal. Love your garbage disposal. Shove that food down there and trust it actually knows how to do it's job. If Dad sees you do this in your own home and starts to give you a lecture, refer him to Lesson #1.
4. Don't go plucking too many of your eye brows out. Some of those suckers don't grow back! The tweezers are your friend but just don't go crazy. You really don't want to be one of those people who look like they took a Sharpie to their face and have lines above their eyes. But I will let you know if your uni-brow is out of control. If you see me coming at you with my tweezers, just sit down and let me do my thing. Because....what? Oh yes...I'm always right.
5. I know it's tempting to get married in your early 20's, especially if you met the best guy ever while you were in college. Or even high school. I know this one may not stand up to reality, but if at ALL possible...please wait until you are at least 25 to get married. You will know yourself better. You will have some life experience out of a school setting under your belt. You will possibly have met enough men and dated a few, to know what you are really looking for. What Mr. Perfect looks like to you on paper may not be even close to who you fall in love with. Please try and balance the qualities you have on your "list" with the feelings of falling in love. You can't rely on either of those alone. Logic in a list or emotions ruling your choices. Find the balance. And if you aren't sure and are getting serious with someone... I'm truly the best person to ask! I know you better then anyone and I only, only want the best for you. Who you choose to marry will be one of the biggest, most important decisions of your life and I hope my input means at least a little something to you.
6. Pray. Talk to God. Make it a habit. And I'm not just talking about when you have a decision to make or some kind of problem comes up that you need God's help with. I mean, daily. For no reason. Thank Him, praise Him, share with Him. Tell Him the desires of your heart and follow what He desires for your heart.
7. You come from parents who love food and aren't those stick-figure, I-can-eat-anything-I-want-and-never-gain-weight kind of people. I'm sorry this is reality for the three of you, but it is. Remember it's about finding the balance and using moderation. Eat the slice of cake, but not the whole cake. Go get a scoop of ice cream...don't eat the whole carton because you had a day day. Eat more veggies and meat then pasta and potato chips. Exercise. Take care of your body because it's the only one you're going to get. Maybe you won't be like me and this won't be a lifelong struggle for you. I will be so relieved for you! But if it is hard, just keep trying. I know you can do it. And I'm here to encourage you any way I can.
8. Mario Brothers and Nintendo were what me and your Dad grew up on. You girls love Mario too. Keep Mario alive. Pass him onto your children. Play some video games. Keep the tradition going to the next generation. By the way, now I have the Mario theme song in my head...don't you?
9. I know already that at least one of you carries on the hoarder gene and it truly drives me nuts. Don't be a hoarder. I do not want to see you and your piles of crap on a reality show one day. Don't be that crazy person.
10. Try your very best to never get divorced. This is important girls. Do whatever you can. If your husband has an affair, be mad, feel the hurt and possibly cause him bodily harm. But try and forgive him and try and see if you can work it out. I understand if you can't. But at least give it a try. If he physically hurts you, get out as fast as you can and come to me or your dad. Don't be embarrassed or ashamed or confused on this issue. Tell us. Tell someone. Get away from him permanently and understand that me or your Dad has every right to go pay a visit to him that probably won't end well. But other then those two issues...stay married. Keep working at it. Don't give up. Fight for your marriage. The choice to stay married to the same man your entire life, till death do you part, will be one of the biggest and hardest choices of your life. But it will be the most valuable. Don't be like your mother. Learn from my mistakes and make the right choices. It makes me smile now to think you will be looking to me and your Dad as the example of what a real marriage looks like. A marriage that lasts.
11. Keep playing the piano. Even if it's just for fun, as often as you can...keep playing. You will be so happy you did and I worked my butt off teaching you that skill so you better not lose it!
12. Travel. Go places I haven't seen. Enrich your life. Travel with your girlfriends, travel with your husband. When you're a parent, take your babies and experience life. Don't hold yourself back by fear or intimidation of the unknown. Plan trips, save your money, and take lots of pictures to show me when you get back.
13. I don't know what kind of technology will be the "it" way to communicate when you read this, but that doesn't really matter. Pick up the phone and call people you care about. Talk to them. Make time to have coffee, go shopping or out for a meal. See people in person. Talk to people in a way you can actually hear their voice. Texting, email and social media are great, but it's not a replacement.
14. Don't be afraid to drink alcohol when it's legal and when you're in a safe environment. But be afraid of drinking too much. Not having control of your actions or your decision making abilities is about as scary as it gets. Don't learn this lesson the hard way.
15. Stay close as sisters. Your sisters know you better then anyone besides your Dad and I. Despite your differences or where life takes you, please stay close. Love each other. Respect each other. Lean on each other. Always look out for each other.
16. Pick a career you truly enjoy. If you are like me and have always just wanted to be a Mommy, still pick a career path. Even if you only work a few years and then have the privilege of staying home with your kids...it will still have been worth it. The experience you will gain is so valuable and it gives you something to fall back on when your kids are raised or if you need to help provide for your family. It's another one of those important decisions. Choose your career wisely.
17. Make sure your husband-to-be has these three qualities - He loves Jesus, he makes you laugh, and he wants to take care of you.
18. Treasure your girlfriends. The ones you make in high school...the friends you share life with in college...the women you work with - make time to go out with them and really value those women. When you fall in love, don't put him so far above your friends that they don't feel important. Keep your girlfriends and always make time for them.
19. I may always be right and I am your Mother, but I am also human. Remember this when you think back on the times I may have yelled at you. On the times I may have lost my patience. The times when I was unfair or didn't make the best decision. Forgive me. Know that I always tried my best. Know that I always loved you more then anything or anyone. Realize that I still do, no matter what you're doing, where you are or how old you may be. I'm not perfect and you won't be a perfect mother either. Take pride in the fact we can talk anything out. Take advantage of how we can share anything with each other. We will always forgive each other and our bond will never be broken.
20. Be better...be more...then me. Love more. Forgive easier. Make wiser choices. Be strong. Have confidence in the wonderful, amazing woman that you are. And if you learn some positives from me...don't be afraid to show your emotions. Be an open book to those that love you. Communicate. Laugh. Love hard. And hopefully you have the kind of relationship with me when you read this, as I do with my mom. I love you girls. I love you so much.
~KDM
2/20/2015
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